No one told me!

Nick, now gainfully employed, stopped in at the tutoring center yesterday to say hi.

He dropped a good tidbit:

"No one ever told me that I was going to just be crazy for years, but I would eventually go back to normal. I wouldn't be myself, just crazy, and the teenage years are like that for nearly everyone, and some continue beyond their teens."

Also, Michael Baisden was talking the other day about not getting married before your twenty - blank... and the gist of the conversation was on 23.

Which, I agree with both of those. Mostly, the former helps explain the latter.

It's good to remember that hormonal fluxes make crazy people out of what may eventually be sane people. This is one of many reasons why I'm not pro drugs. I pro being proactive and teaching people coping techniques, and seeing signs of out of control teenagers versus crazy ones. Such as what didn't take place with the girl and the "extreme" bullying that no one interrupted.

However, adults should be held accountable for their inability to control themselves. From 18 - 23 can be considered a grace period of sorts, at least for interpersonal interaction, but thereafter, you are responsible for your actions and your words regardless of the situation.

Case in point, illogical arguments and merely dismissing an idea that you have not even digested. Then stating items as facts that aren't, and disagreeing with an opinion merely because it requires you to do work.

Wondered?

No, actually I haven't wondered.

It's called "Good" Friday, because "Jesus was willingly sacrificing himself to absolve everyone of sin, and fulfilling his mission on Earth." Therefore, it was Good for him to be martyred, and good for humanity, who on their own would be incapable of the majority being saved. Then, the true believers knew yada yada....

Or so the mythology goes.

Anyway, what I can't believe is FREAKING PHOTOBUCKET!!!!!!!!!!!

It won't open up and let me submit all the tournament pictures. It just keeps timing out, and I can't view any of the other pictures, besides the thumbnails.

portable bookmarks

I moved all my at home bookmarks to my jump drive yesterday!!!

Yay!

Now, I wonder if there's enough room left on it to move my plug-ins too?

Plus did some C# tutoring, and now can work Tuesday to make up for the loss of hours for Jesus on Friday.

Stretching Week

I've enjoyed classes this week teaching many different stretching and partner techniques.

Today's classes in Topeka, I did different stretches for all the classes (6 of them). We did some supplementary curriculum too. In sparring I worked with one student on the Escrima kata, learned about a nice seminar coming (in October), taught 2 different Tonfa curriculum, some ground fighting intermediate in the advanced class, worked on adding one move at a time up to a 10 move combo for one class, and worked on bursting and other combos in some other classes.

Now, I get to update more of my Dad's auction site before dinner tonight at 6:10

impecunious

habitually without money; poor

Yay! a new word to describe my situation!

Knowledge is fun!

"Those who are firm and inflexible
are in harmony with dying.
Those who are yielding and receptive
are in harmony with living.
The position of the highly inflexible will descend.
The position of the yielding and receptive will ascend."
-Lao-Tse, Tao Te Ching #76

Slowly sewing

I've got another buckle sewed onto my bag.

Just one more buckle, then the whole bottom pocket and I'll be good to go.

Got the kana quizzer from kanji-a-day.com on the work pc, and randomly looking at it.

Then got my new gmail account set up so I can have access to email other than the yahoo account that I have with a more professional sounding name to it than my ole nickname that I still use for online games.

Found out I can use the kanji-a-day on the start page with the new google mail account, which is nice!

Got quotes of the day, and words of the day too!

Mellow so far

Mellow day so far.

That's nice, but I need to find out if and when I have court to go to...
drive to St. Joseph
get something to eat beforehand...
and the busy part then starts.

Mind awash with multiple thought tracks

Lust V. Love

• Have I truly ever know love, or has it always been lust?

Choices ahead

• With many paths laid out in front of me which one will I follow?
• No path is a true correct answer, and all entail hardships to follow

Weighty Decision

• When do I tell my decision that may not be known until the last class
• I continue to teach as if the class I'm teaching could be my last

Sexual Desires

• Have I really ever had them?
• Was it just a go with the flow of those around me?
• Can one have a relationship without it?
• Have I always treated it simply as a requirement for said relationships?

Relationship

• I think of Katanagatari, "Hassle"
• It's just a hassle to me
• But is it?

Meeting

• Who to invite
• When to hold
• What to have for discussion
• Ability to afford

Book

• Should I write one?

Full disclosure

• Should I put out on the class website the way for me to afford to continue on?
• Should I have the open donation option with a total tracker?
• Should I request my students input about my upcoming decision?

Talking to

• Danielle about how many, how, and what she is telling people about my future plans
• James about the same
• How to approach both of them?
  

Gear for survival

• Cost
• Where to get
• What to get
• What knowledge to bring with
• What knowledge to gain before
• Who to talk to about proper gear

Brother

• Inability to understand my reasons about credit card
• Unknown if he has received his tax refund
• Did he talk to his wife about why they can use it, and if they can afford to pay it off?

Derek

• Do I let him know what it will take for me to get through the summer, and offer that knowledge in response to his loan offer?
• How do I approach about his subordinates?

Office

• When I leave do I let them know all the issues that they have caused me?
• Do I start informing them now?
• How to confront them without being confrontational?

Fun

• With classes becoming a drain on the office side, then monetarily, then mentally....
• What should I do to go out without a budget?
• Where can I go just to have some fun for a moment?

Thinking

• Do I do it too much for my own good?

Friends

• Growing up in the country friends were always far away
• Do I treat friends appropriately now that many aren't far away?
• Do I truly act respectful to their needs?
• Can I say that I don't hit them up only when I, or they, need something?
• Am I burden at gatherings?

So, now I know why I can't sleep right now...

Yay... court...eventually

Well, apparently the courts in Lawrence won't tell my lawyer what dates are available until Friday. Then, we can choose an available date for the expedited hearing, but I'm yet unaware of whether or not their lawyer, or they, get to have input about it.

Then, I don't know how long that will take them to accomplish appropriate repairs.

Out with the dad today

Even though the snow was thick, my dad drove in to town with his truck today.

Then we headed up to Cabella's to get some ammo that I owed him.

First, we stopped and had lunch, ended up using the truck to pull a guys car out of a space for him.

Perused almost all parts of Cabella's too.

Started with the ammo, so as not to forget it. They didn't have either type that he wanted, but ended up finding out that his type wasn't going to be commonly stocked anymore, and the next level up of grain wouldn't compromise his shooting style.

Then, checked out some backpacks, tents, sleeping bags, and the like. Still going to have to spend a grip for boots though. Although, it's about the same for the good backpack, and tents.

Did find out the cooking kits are much more compact than I had previously thought though. They had a lot of things to take in, but I couldn't really be too obvious about what all I was looking at with my dad there.

Then, we stopped by Cavender's and I looked at dusters, also a $100, but that is a critical aspect of water/dirt protection that is well worth it.

Dad talked about moving to Texas and his options therein. Also, he bought me a shirt I definitely won't ever wear... the 2nd amendment on the back with an American flag.

So far here's a breakdown of what I'm looking to get:

Boots: Waterproof, my size, long lasting - $130
Backpack: Rail system, padding on the back, but breathable, with or without water system, high capacity - $125
Sleeping Bag: All season, lowest temperature possible - $90
Tent: Single person, "bivy" or other, easily compact - $130
Water filtration kit: $25 - $100
Cooking Wear: $30
Duster: black - $120
Hat: Not baseball, not cowboy, but duster style... $30
Hatchet: CHECK
Fishing Gear: CHECK
Plenty of socks: Regular- CHECK Warm - $30
Good sewing kit: $20
Good First Aid Kit: $30
Matches: Backup plan only, but a large amount in a waterproof bag - $30
Waterproof bags: To put contents inside of back packs - $?

I'm sure there is more... but I still have to look into it.

On the plus side it's no more than one month's house payment and mobile phone bill, and the phone bill will be gone after April, and should the resolution not come on the house that will be gone come May.

Odd offer

I thought Derek would be calling about my issues with Jeri changing my books, but rather he called offering a loan of sorts this afternoon.

He came to realize that I would be bankrupt and gone if the housing situation didn't get resolved. He first, I think jokingly, offered a place to stay until it's resolved, but called me later asking if I needed financial assistance.

That was odd.

Although, I remembered a valuable thought today, and it made me chuckle. I have for awhile now realized that my life is mine, and no one else has any responsibility to remember what is going on in it. This came to the forefront when Derek still, after at least 5 times of me telling him, didn't realize that I had a mortgage.

I just chuckled, and remembered that long ago I was glad to come to know that there's no place to get angry at someone for not remembering your life, and just keep right on going.

It's not just me

I've had multiple professional writers review the conversations between myself and the office personnel.

While on a couple of them I could have been clearer, the point still came through with blazing accuracy. However, the communications I have received from their end are not professional in any regards.

Even the teacher concurred that I could easily be able to bang my head on the wall.

Timeline?

Well, the ever in flux time line of my life continues to stir.

According to the new lawyer, the "clients" haven't given a sufficient amount of information for a yes or no to non trial requirements.

However, since they have responded, we can now seek the expedited trial date, which if they don't respond by Friday can be moved forward before the 20 day "grace" period. The grace period would have expired on the 25th, but now we can move forward.

I find it a bit disconcerting that I had to remind my lawyer that expediency and cost-effective were no longer terms to use with me as it has been far to long for either to apply.

Wednesday, WEDNESday, WEDNESDAY

Well, tomorrow, I shall find out if they are going to repair the exterior without having to go to the expedited hearing. They apparently have a new lawyer out of Kansas City defending them, since they have at least two lawsuits coming at them right now.

So, my lawyer talked with the new lawyer, and they have until Wednesday to respond to him about whether the work will be done without the hassle of court. For some reason, I seem to doubt that they will even do this minor of a proper thing, but we shall see.

Full Disclosure?

I am hesitant about fully disclosing why I am not working this summer to my boss. At least while classes this Spring are still on going.

I have yet to decide how best to break the news to them.

Whether I should point out the blatant disregards for professionalism, and more... or just leave it that I can't work for the company over the summer, and I have my reasons.

My boss did ask if it was okay for him to ask why, but I haven't replied yet to that email.

I'm hoping that is a hint to him, that it's not his business.

Either way, I do need to start thinking about moving along.

I have posted a two things on Craig's list - the washer/dryer from the condo, and my collection of capstone that was to be used for demonstrations.

I can't decide whether to continue using that, put more up on larryville, or to see if my sis will do a garage sale one weekend.

Many decisions.... little time, but it remains unknown as to whether they should even be made yet.

Well, I know I would like the advice of my brother, the guys in DGRE, some ole T-bell buddy's advice would be sweet, and a few instructors. However, I don't know of an appropriate time to convene the group as a whole, nor where, and if I can afford to have them meet and me buy dinner at a location.

Hopefully, that can be sorted out soon too.

One thing new

While I did update the class website on Friday, I still have much to figure out on the other side of things.

I need to figure out a good time to convene a council of peers about my options for the future. However, I wonder if I should do it before or after May. If I do it before May, then I won't really know for sure, but after May, it could be too late?

At any rate, I wonder if I should finish classes up or not before I head out. I know without teaching any classes, I could start studying multiple hours a day at school, and then test out of classes instead of having to take all of them. Which could make it go a lot faster.

Lesen Sie bitte!

Is it that hard to read what you are replying to?

Today, I had an email with a question, that was in reply to the exact answer to their question. I know this, because the email they sent me, actually had the answer within the previous email attached to the bottom of it.

Selective reading.... Really?

One sentence.... READ IT BEFORE YOU REPLY AND ASK THE SAME QUESTION!

20 days to respond

20 days.... Legal response time, and I'm sure the ( *^*(^(^%#($ will take every day of it.

Took a few phone calls, but that's the result I got from the lawyer. 20 days before we can even think about the expedited hearing. I swear 9 months ago, I said get this done quickly. 8 months ago, I was told 6 months for a lawsuit. 6 months ago, I said file the lawsuit, and they finally reported it to insurance. 1 month ago, the lawsuit was filed. Yesterday, the expedited hearing request was filed with a police officer having to be contracted to serve the request. 20 days from now, I'm sure even less will be accomplished.

On the plus side??

I have theoretically a meeting with my immediate supervisor for lunch. My presumption, he wants to try and convince me that no one has stolen money from me, and to continue to teach this summer, or something of the like. However, I didn't get a verbal request to follow the email sent shortly before the office closed today, and after I was already 90 miles from home in the town I have to teach class in on Thursdays. Then, I didn't return home to find it until 11pm. So, theoretically is the proper term.

Circular Thoughs in a Linear World

That was the random thought I jotted down in Professional Writing the other day.

Here as I listen to The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike.... Memories flood back into my head.

While I am opposed to circular conversations that require a linear solution, I do believe that we should realize the interconnectedness of life, and our experiences. For example, I don't like arguments such as:
Person 1: You don't spend enough time with me.
Person 2: I don't have that much free time, but when I do, you're around.
Person 1: It's not about the amount, but the quality.
Person 2: I ask if you want to go out, but you merely want to sit on the couch and watch television shows that I can't stand.
Person 1: I just want to spend more time with you......


Circularity in arguments isn't helpful, but in thoughts we frequently find ourselves on a long journey only to return to where we started. I find this frequently in instruction. I move through lessons to get students caught up to where they should be, or to improve a specific skill, then move to the next, but eventually find myself teaching the same lessons to the sames students who have either lost the knowledge, or haven't retained it.

I even find myself teaching and saying something I've said many times before, but suddenly realizing another facet of what it means.

Then, there's always what Bruce Lee said about a punch:
"When I started, a punch was a punch. Then, I learned so much about a punch, the twist, using the entire body, finger placement, angles, and so on. Then, after mastering the punch, I realized that a punch was just a punch."

Love

There was a very good discussion about this word on the radio tonight. I wholeheartedly agree with the interpretation put forth. Love is many things and the longest string that involves love is hope, when you may no longer believe in someone you love to do the right things, you still hope.

I thought long about this, and it is why I have love. I have love for students, for family, for friends, but I have yet to understand that which is love is this manner from romantic love. I have loved, I have lusted, but yet I have never been in love. I do not know what it is to love someone in a manner other than that which I have to give forthright. I love by design. In retrospect I have yet to be in love.

Another great discussion for the evening was that of reflection. One should glance back at the past, but not be bound by it. We learn and move forward, and upon a wavering of conviction it is necessary to reflect on what made us move to begin with. The analogy used was that of the rear view mirror. It is an analogy that I have used before as well. This clearly contributed to how interested I was in what the radio personality had to say. We glance at the rear view to be safe in our movement, but should we fixate on it, we surely will be disastrous in our driving.

What else could it be?

8 students PIF money is MIA, and the director of the database division simply notes that there is no problem with the database. Not, hey I've looked into who last modified your pages, but rather, the data is saving....

8 * 90 = $720

The director of this area, does the job of one of his subordinates, and she still has her job, plus neither of them tell me that we have confirmed the date/time for a second night, and schedule two events at one time. Then, I have to ask about what the resolution is to the situation over half-way through the day.

Apparently, they just don't care about me personally, and now that it's clear, I can treat them appropriately. Either that, or they're completely incompetent, and for the sake of the future of all the children underneath their direction, I hope it's simply me.