Paola to Manhattan

Apparently Sensei Richard is retiring this semester, and I may get his location in Paola.... moved to Tuesday nights this fall. Found this out today, that well I would be the only instructor to have 6 days a week classes. I'll admit it's a little over the top awesome, and frightening at the same time... mostly because I'll then be the Lawrence, Topeka, St. Joe, and Paola instructor... what a mouthful, especially at tournaments.

then Jesse dropped a bomb on Wednesday night about not wanting to teach in Manhattan. Unfortunately she didn't realize how hard it is to get an instructor out there. My only hope is that by Monday she is out of the funk she is in, after being around her own aged people for the time she's had off. She realized what everyone does, and that work = not as much free time, and a real job = responsibility. She did what I thought as well, and placed most of the unspoken blame on Will. Him not following his dreams through her eyes, his not maybe going to K-State in the spring, and her not being able to get there another way (mind you she still hasn't even earned her permit). I talked with her apparently not knowing I was asking the right questions about her intentions and reasons without actually doing so, and got a lot of information. Now just how I redirect this one who is so obsessed with being young and in the now, and enjoying it when she wants to, damning all responsibilities she can, but wanting the responsibilities none the less. She was clearly in a depressive mode last week and before realizing "all" that she's been missing out on, and realizing she wants to "hang out" and party more. Of course that is what most of us do in our youth, damn responsibility and relish in our lack of commitments to anyone other than ourselves. So after a few weeks of damning responsibility and realizing she wants to do so much with her life in so many directions that she can't choose one, she has again opted for indecision. As a teacher I wonder if I can nudge her the right way back onto a path. For as of currently her soul searching has left even her martial knowledge lacking, humility isn't there for someone who wants things to be equal, and she cannot accept her own shortcomings, desiring to be better than everyone else, but not focusing on any of her ambitions.

How can I help her realize that you can change your goals, but first you must have one. At least to focus on.

mixed and not so much

There was that great scene at the beginning of Dogma, where at the abortion clinic they talked about as you grow bigger it takes more and more to fill your cup up with faith.

Then there was this random sermon I was at where they talked about the cup getting overfilled, but people still wanting more. However, no matter how much you got your cup could only be so full, that's why you needed to pass some on to others from time to time.

Then a book I'm reading about kids, talks of how much easier we are to entertain in our younger years, but as we age it is harder and harder to make things easy.

So I was thinking what if that is with everything.

If to truly get the good, we must experience the bad, and if things have been good for awhile then we forget how good we have it.

Or the inverse, wherein the bad overwhelms our good.

I suppose it does apply.

There was this great episode of a SciFi Channel Cartoon, that talked of how if God didn't exist ever, then not only would there not be good, but there wouldn't be evil, and therefore without knowing evil, everyone would actually just end up good. Then when evil was introduced as an option, people went nuts.

So if you experience joy, or the lack there of too often, the older one is the more joy it takes to refill your cup? Hmm..

Fall Sem

DONE! all classes, unless I have the weird variants of Blue & Purple and Orange & Up, but that shouldn't be to much.

Picked up a few good books at Half Price Sunday, and food at CostCo today, yummy for both.

age

it has been a subject of thought recently.

maturity is much more important than age, because there are people much older than I who act the stereotypical younger, and vice versa.

Now to be taken serious at age requires that one thing, and that's maturity.

Speeding is for the young and ill-prepared.

This sentence can apply to so many facets of daily life.

Alcohol

I think I'm through, mostly just to prove it to myself I suppose, and that if in fact I don't use it anymore then even though it is a rarely partaken of item, I won't wish for it. Culturally I have it with dinner or friends on occasion, but the other day I just had some to sit around and lounge with. Not that it's a bad thing or a vice for me, just that something I've said recently not in context was if it feels weird, wrong, or off, it probably is, and when I see people who drink get way out of control, even though I know I won't, it makes me feel weird to even be drinking within their area. Yet it also makes me feel strange to kick it with my old school friends and they get drunk, and I'm totally sober, however, that is more just a feeling of mine that they should have more control I guess. That in and of itself makes me feel off for thinking that someone else should act different, but then again I accept them for who they are and their faults, so even though I call it a fault, I don't hold it against them for it is just who they are. In deeper thought I feel that it's not as wrong as I firstly did, because it doesn't make me feel better than or superior to them, just awkward I suppose that I don't partake.

Also I think I vent to much to others. At least recently I've told 3 or more people about a verbal bout that although was necessary through off my regular track, and of course talking about it to others was merely a confirmation that it was necessary, but yet it made me feel wrong to bring them into the situation too. Albeit I feel moments like that are what keeps me in the realm of those who can socialize, and do in fact do so, I also feel that more often than not I use my turn to speak to speak that which bothers me. I feel guilty for this is what I have felt is my calling to listen to, but yet I know I cannot just be the listener and never the teller. I just also think, whether right or wrongly so, that I have less good to say when I speak than I should, thus giving off the appearance of one who isn't content. I don't know if it's just that when in the times of troubled emotions I go where those I know will listen are, and remove myself when I'm not in that state, and if that relegates me to the guy that is always troubled and not there to help. Yet I don't call I just go, and I am the one who gets calls when things are messed up, however, with few exceptions it's not when it's just a bad day, but rather a real situation. That is why I am many people's go to guy, but I think that for few I am their emotional go to. Which is one thing I used to be, but was changed by life, and I am not really emotional as I once was. The last ex had only one thing, and that was she could get me mad. I have just been desensitized to others problems, because most people don't take advice given to them I think they would rather wallow in it, and have pity felt for them. Maybe that's why I dislike telling others, even though I try and follow advice I receive. Is it that those in my past have made me backwards in my perception of others and thus I don't want others to have that perception of me. I remember once I said that I had woken up in great pain, and not in anger or to my ears whining, but I later heard them talking as if I was making a mountain of a mole hill, and that made me remember that others perceive words differently from me that I often mean to portray events. Mostly I believe because they are exposed to other people a lot more than me, and as would be a normal pattern believe that if the majority of persons do something because of one reason then most do it for the same. I have seen this in many places. even in martial arts once I was told that it must be a boost for my ego that I could break things, but it threw me for a loop that people would even do that for that reason.

Hmm... maybe that's why I no longer am able to break bricks with my hand. That is worth more in depth thought. I don't think I have broken with my hand, at least bricks, since then. True that person is one I respect, and mayhap that left a mental tab in me that breaking is for ego not for the reason I believe it to be, at least that is how it is perceived by others, and thus I should not push the envelope of the understanding of those unknown to my beliefs.

3/4 of warmups done

I have the White only class done for fall at least 12 weeks, the advanced class the same, and all the warmups & Games for Green and Green w/ Stripe ready to roll out too.

So hopefully sometime in tomorrow I can finish up the juicy bits of green and green stripe then plow into white/yellow.

I even have it all copied from my notebook to the pc.

I lack the knowledge

In the area of motivation, for one individual in particular. I think I'm just going to have to take the reins back from her and make her roam around. Whenever she messes up she refuses to admit it, and cannot admit her wrong or that she was taught differently. Therefore I am coming closer and closer to regretting my decision to advise on her advancement. She is still in the comfort zone of not really being the one in charge and therein not taking responsibility. Of the list of things that she needed to move up, she has done 0 with all of her time off, and still not done what was on her list of things to accomplish. With this seriously lack of motivation, I don't know how to inspire her other than take away all of her privileges. I hate to do it because I see where she could go, but right now she isn't ready. I only hope that by the fall she has grown up enough as a person to ask for help when needed and own up to her, yes her, shortcomings without blaming another. Then move on and attempt self betterment instead of saying oh it's okay if I'm that way, you should change instead..

Tournament Fun

I was possibly inadvertently left off the assignment sheet for tournament and got to work the holding area, and wander around which was just a great time for me to be had. Now tournament is always fun, but without a specific job to do it was just awesome. Had about 30 kids there. Overall we had 5 adults for kata, and many many happy kids.

Affix your Bayonets

We Were Soldiers was on tonight, a movie that makes me so angry and so touched to the core of my being at the same time. They even did a great job telling 3 main stories at once. The fact that at home wives stepped up to do the job the army didn't in delivering messages on bases, the fact that the North Vietnamese had the same feelings as the Americans, and same cause, and the fear and camaraderie of the pilots and the soldiers.

It is one the few movies that shows what happens before and after a major combat situation when good leaders are on both sides, and poor leaders as well. Although I may not believe in America as the greatest country ever and I will not salute the flag, I do acknowledge those who can be called warriors. Not those who blindly follow orders and have no honor such as mere soldiers, but those who would and do give their lives for that which they believe in, and those standing beside them. When all hope is lost, yet the will to continue on despite knowing that you will or more than likely will die arise within; is to me the most soul wrenching event. And although many movies can portray such heroics, the unfortunate truth is that most of those with that have passed on. It saddens me greatly to know that men of true honor, have become relegated to video games and movies, where sub par human beings can pretend to be them. I shall leave with the quote towards the end:

"I hope I can have forgiveness."
"For What?"
"For the fact that my men died and I didn't."

This was shown on both sides of the battle in the movie, and it could be surmised that if the two commanders had met in a time of peace they would have known each other on good terms. In times of war and battle our unfortunate sacrifice is the ability to truly know our enemy.

And go see Mongol.

All that is now has been lost

...it will NEVER help me get a new belt ...


That which has been designed for the summer is much like finding the missing puzzle piece under the couch after searching for quite some time. Starting even on the second week with delving deep into kata beginning with Taikyoku Sho Dan. Understanding the necessity of realizing others look up to you and that you should hold yourself to a higher standard because of that fact. Knowing how to fall properly throughout the semester. Even if attended the Ukemi at Master's Camp, a one day training session cannot reprogram our minds. If it could school would be much more informative. Comprehending why to step and the simply fact of stepping. The benefit of a day camp is they get these lessons because they have the time to learn more than a once a week student. They get to learn the lessons in Sparring, Kata, Basics, Stances, Blocking, Striking, Kicking, and much more. Only with summer classes do students in a once a week class get this added knowledge. The work on combining multiple levels of movement within a simple movement only gets to be implied throughout normal training due to class structure, but with the summer schedule not worrying solely about curriculum, all enrolled get to become better martial artist and not just better repeaters. Albeit Jesse will go off on tangents not meant for those below her level, and give information that she has yet to comprehend out to others who don't even grasp her vague ideas on a subject, much more is relative to earning a new belt in the classes. If time constraints were not as such much more would even be accomplished as is noted in the lesson plans. The summer is the predecessor to the fall, but not in a bad way, but rather an in depth way. Although many will fail to grasp that which is put in front of them now, perhaps when brought up as a brush up it will make that puzzle piece click in a set up a whole new wondrous picture.

And although tournament week or any other lesson plan in and of itself may not seem as beneficial to ones advancement through the ranks, when properly assembled the summer can make the difference between a new belt and none. With the ability to focus on areas that are brushed upon, ones performance and control will be undeniable come time for the test. Critiques and pointers amongst smaller numbers with more individual advice makes the difference between a haphazard and dangerous partner, and a future black belt.

Even Jesse has failed to grasp the point of many events at tournament. It is unfortunate that one with her possibilities cannot see what is important in many of them. While we all have favorites at everything, unfortunately it cannot be our focus. With a tournament training week, we get that little glimpse of where our techniques should be at power, how to tweak a technique for speed, when to use each. What is important in our Kata regardless of which one. How to be confident without actually being confident. Learning formalities and knowing the why. Escape drill is an event for all belts and I would challenge even the top ranking black belts to be able to compete competently in it. While many of us chase the power to control and conquer our aggressors, escape drill reverts back to the simplest of techniques, but yet teaches that no matter how many ways we learn to compensate for not knowing the White belt self defense, they are still the fastest and most effective techniques when performed properly. Case in point at Day camp students have less than three seconds to escape a pulling or pushing grab of the first four everyday. No matter how much bigger or stronger the opponent, when performed properly the first four are what gets us away.

Over five years ago, the basics and their understanding is what kept to well intentioned friends from meeting the tail end of an incapacitating attack. Had they attempted to grab me even 2 blocks earlier, I'm sure they would have surely landed in the emergency room that night. But with a concept of tiny circles, my stride was not even broken after their grabs. This ability to break and run is what all martial artists should strive for, if not able to merely flee the upcoming engagement. Not to say that all confrontation is without merit, but merely that the majority is not needed, and based on ego. So our ability to do escape drill truly tests our brains resolve to do what we say we should, and that is do as little as is necessary to break free from an altercation and leave with yourself unharmed. Even today a Blue belt took the relearning the basics, because of only one problem with her technique, and that was lifting her elbow when turning her wrist. After her failed fit throwing attempt, and many many wall push ups. She cheerily enjoyed getting the newfound knowledge of how simple, yet effective it was to do the technique correctly.


So I invite a look back:

second week:
http://hillcrestclass.blogspot.com/2008/05/week-2-summer.html
third week:
http://hillcrestclass.blogspot.com/2008/06/week-3-summer.html
fourth:
http://hillcrestclass.blogspot.com/2008/06/week-4-summer.html
fifth:
http://hillcrestclass.blogspot.com/2008/06/week-5-summer.html
sixth:
http://hillcrestclass.blogspot.com/2008/06/week-6-summer.html
seventh:
http://hillcrestclass.blogspot.com/2008/07/week-7-summer.html
and eighth:
http://hillcrestclass.blogspot.com/2008/07/week-8-summer.html


At any rate as Bruce Lee said with some summarization:
In the beginning I thought a punch was a punch, then I learned so much more about hips, wrists, finger position, target area, and my eyes were opened about the entire world of what was a punch, but then after the acquisition of all that is a punch I came to realize that still a punch is a punch and nothing more.

So a thought for Fall

Deerfield:

6:30-7:15 White and Yellow
7:15-8:00 Green(possibly Green White)
8:00-8:15 Taikyoku Sho Dan
8:15-9:00 Green with stripes(possibly Green Black and Up)


With focuses on
a: Fight to stand, S.A.F.E. Shield, and Curriculum
b: 1-8 Taikyoku Sho Dan, Basics on One Steps, Falling, Forearm Block Focus, Curriculum
c: 1-20 Taikyoku Sho Dan, Formal One Steps, Falling, Rolling, Partner Drills, Curriculum

Lawrence B and G:

7-8:30 Blue and Up
8:30-9 Sparring and Chanbara Sparring

unless 20 blue and purple and 20 orange and up then:

7-7:45 Blue and Purple
7:45-8:15 Sparring and Chanbara
8:15-9 Orange and Up

but I doubt the second one.

with focuses on Katas, One Steps, & Self Defense
and Warmups of Ground Fighting Curriculum

Monday and Thursday to stay the same.
6-6:45 White and Yellow
6:45-7:30 Green
7:30-8 Sparring/Chanbara
8-9 Blue and Up

Saturday:

a few possibilities:

Option A

8:30-9:15 White
9:15-10 White and Yellow
10-10:45 Green
10:45-11:15 Sparring/Chanbara
11:15-12 Blue and Purple
12-1 Orange and Up

Option B

8:30-9:15 White and Yellow
9:15-10 Green
10-10:45 Green with Stripe
10:45-11:15 Sparring/Chanbara
11:15-12 Blue and Purple
12-1 Orange and Up

Option C

8:30-9:15 White and Yellow
9:15-10 Green
10-11 Green with Stripe
11-11:30 Sparring/Chanbara
11:30-1 Blue and Up

Standard Option D

8:30-9:15 White
9:15-10 White and Yellow
10-11 Green
11-11:30 Sparring/Chanbara
11:30-1 Blue and Up

I dont' about the breaking

Withholding total trunk breakage, I'd say trees sacrifice that which is needed for the good of the whole. They support the life around them, and within them. They take what they are given through precipitation, and sun and use that to promote life. A lot could be learned from them.

But no nothing is perfect.

Who Doggy

There were just barrage of emails I had to send today, and of course after changing my oil grabbing food, chopping it up with my sister, and getting gas it was quite late when I started, but I did manage to burn a multitude of Kata DVD's for students whilst I was tinkering with those emails. Now tomorrow just to label them, and get more work done on the trailer when I get home.

Hmm....

Trees the best foundations.... and much much more to be learned... wind bend not break, continuing after a trauma.... hmm and in many creation stories there is the tree of life/origin....

You must be like water

The flowing water in the stream does not worry about the rocks that may intrude into it's path, the water simply finds the path.

Whether one minute you are thwarting those who wrong against you, dealing with those who drain your emotions, or feeling you age and sleep deprivation, and then onto the next someone offers a life preserver for another day, but then another takes one offered hand away. You must calmly adjust. The extent of calm may be varied, but one must quickly remember the adage of the river.

Although rectification may be simple or swift, even if it is not you must deal with the knowledge that when one is on the good path, good will come, but evil is always waiting to bring you down. If you turn to hate and vengeance, then you have lost, this is not saying that you cannot regain footing, but it is admitting imperfection and that there is still more to strive for.

The river was here before us and will be here after we are gone, so of course it has had time to learn the lessons it has to teach us, we can only hope that we achieve the serenity that a river possesses, and can pass it along. As always I am grateful when weakness are brought to the surface for me to reflect upon, and am humbled anew by that which the river so graciously shares with me. I only hope that I can learn the lessons that the rest have to teach before I miss out for not knowing what I should be looking at.

Agree and Reevaluate

Anger a gift or a curse, and for many other things as well it all depends on whose hands and/or through whose eyes.

I prefer to look at it as a tool, that when harnessed effectively can be highly valuable, but on the other hand when the emotions override the body; and the brain actually drops in IQ due to the anger, it is a terrible burden. So for something to make you angry is okay, to be angry without reason is not, and to simply plow through without rational reasons for being angry other than not wanting something else to be right, or not wanting to accept another possibility is purely _________(childish, much like throwing a fit, infantile, juvenile, adolescent, immature, and I really don't know the word to put there, but it's along those lines and inappropriate, or unacceptable could go there, but I hope the idea gets through)

Anger without a purpose

I think this is just payback for when I was 16/17.

Also teenagers don't think their invincible, they just don't care, because we all thought we'd be dead, but miraculously more times than not we didn't die.

So it comes and So it goes

A journey cannot begin without the first step.

With subtlety of teaching due to a hostile reaction to the journey's end, I believe I can encourage the commencement of the first step.

I just don't know how to be less subtle without them becoming hostile. Also I don't believe they are gaining from the subtlety.

A hostile reaction to an honest peer critique is a sign of one being unable to accept outside advice, but yet without a critique of themselves outside advice is accepted freely.

Problems of character and self correction may be lost or is it not yet found to a new generation.

When this the next stage greets everything that they don't know or agree with in anger, then how can we expect them to understand softness.

So if we know what's wrong, but are surrounded by too much apathy to do anything about it, is this next generation unsure of what's wrong or what to do about it, and does that mean another generation is needed to sort the old lot out?

Patience

How do you teach patience to someone who should have learned it long ago?