Again with the Nikki

So I wake up this morning get ready for work and go to leave, and there's Nikki on the couch, so yet again she is crashing in my room. So I went to work and then I got sent home after about an hour, and have to go back in at 11:50 until 20:20... craziness. Oh well. The hair is gone. I always forget it's colder without hair up there. Freaked out the kids when I stopped by. Found out after over 25 years of marriage Lisa left Karl and has had like a complete change in mood and attitude and won't even tell Heather where she is staying.... *shudders* freaky... they are like my other parents.

Da Bus' first

So the cops finally pulled the bus over, but as I am a pimp nothing was done to myself or the occupants but we did end the night early, jealous po po.

Ease

Man it is so easy to get some in this town. However, to actually get a commitment is an entirely different story. I've had no problems since with the first, but as soon as I bring up the latter.... is when it all goes south. What is with women my age?

My thumb has been that asleep feeling for over 24 hours now.... kind of odd...

Work is gravy gravy one of my students brought a natural energy drink last night, that was cute. I was smiling for the rest of the night... okay granted I am almost always smiling in class anyways....

Had to talk myself out of killing a honky on the way to St. Joe yesterday that was hard as he was very deserving. Everyone should just be glad I don't carry a gun...

Continuation

Thinking through it today as I saw a bumper sticker that says the truth hurts, but that's life. I thought to myself the truth isn't what hurts it is the lie it abolishes. We see our lives and ourselves one way but then when our reality finally becomes actuality we are hurt. Therefore the truth never hurts those who are truthful, but only those who lie to themselves.


Song for today:

NWA- Boyz N the Hood

Woke up quick at about noon
Just thought that I had to be in Compton soon
I gotta get drunk before the day begin
Before my mother starts bitchin' about my friends
About to go and damn near went blind
Young niggaz at the pad throwin' up gang signs
Ran in the house and grabbed my clip
With the Mac-10 on the side of my hip
Bailed outside and pointed my weapon
Just as I thought, the fools kept steppin'
Jumped in the fo' hit the juice on my ride
I got front back, and side to side
Then I let the Alpine play
Bumpin new shit by NWA
It was "Gangsta Gangsta" at the top of the list
Then I played my own shit, it went somethin' like this :

Cruisin' down the street in my 4
Jockin' the bitches, slappin' the ho's
Went to the park to get the scoop
Knuckle-heads out there cold shootin' some hoops
A car pulls up, who can it be?
A fresh El Camino rollin Kilo G
He rolls down his window and he started to say
It's all about makin' that GTA

Cuz the boyz in the hood are always hard
You come talkin' that trash we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit'
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit...

[]

Donald B's in the place to give me the pace
He said my man JD is on freebase
The boy JD was a friend of mine
'Till I caught him in my car tryin' to steal a Alpine
Chased him up the street to call a truce
The silly mothafucka pulled out a deuce-deuce
Little did he know I had a loaded 12 gage
One sucker dead, L.A. times front page

Cuz the boyz in the hood are always hard
You come talkin' that trash we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit'
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit...

[]

Bored as hell and I wanna get ill
So I went to a spot where my homeboys chill
The fellows out there - makin' that dollar
I pulled up in my 64 Impala
They greet me with a 40 and I start drinkin'
And from the 8-ball my breath start stinkin'
Love to get my girl, to rock that body
Before I left I hit the bacardi
Went to her house to get her out of the pad
Dumb ho said something that made me mad
She said somethin' that I couldn't believe
So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave
She started talkin' shit, wouldn't you know?
Reached back like a pimp and slapped the ho'
Her father jumped out and he started to shout
So I threw a right-cross and knocked his old ass out

Cuz the boyz in the hood are always hard
You come talkin' that trash we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit'
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit...

[]

I'm rollin' hard now I'm under control
Then wrapped the 64 'round the telephone poll
I looked at my car and I said "oh brother"
I throw it in the gutter and go buy another
Walkin' home and I see the G ride
Now Kat is drivin' Kilo on the side
As they busted a U they got pulled over
An undercover cop in a dark green Nova
Kat got beat for resistin' arrest
He socked the pig in his head for rippin' his Guess
Now G is caught for doin' the crime
Forth afence on the boy, he'll do some time

Cuz the boyz in the hood are always hard
You come talkin' that trash we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit'
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit ...

[]

I went to get them out but there was no bail
The fellows Caused a riot in the county jail
Two days later in municipal court
Kilo G on trial cold cut a fart
Disruption of a court, said the judge
On a six years sentence my man didn't budge
Bailiff came over to turn him in
Kilo G looked up and gave a grin
He yelled out "FIRE!", then came Suzi

The bitch came in with a sub-machine Uzi
Police shot the bitch but didn't hurt her
Both up state for attempted murder

Cuz the boyz in the hood are always hard
You come talkin' that trash we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit'
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit ...

Coincidence

So I have noticed that when one lies, even minutely that it takes a lot out of them. Which has made me connect those who are suicidal to liars... and I have yet to find one I've known to be the first and not the second. I was thinking that Mandy lied all the time for no real reason but attention, Christina was always keeping up the lies to her parentals. Yet I have never really gotten to know a suicidal fellow, I've known tons of girls, but no fellers... hmmm... that's odd as well, not that guys don't do it, just they aren't as openly grabbing for attetion as girls... oddness....

Jessica

So Jessica came up this weekend, hadn't seen her since the last UFB show. Went to a house party, but then there was someone acting a fool in the road and the cops showed up. So we were headed to another party, but she was going to ride with this other dude, and well, haven't heard from her since, and there was no party at that locale. So me and Smitty just hope she's aight, because we hit up the kids house and then Steak 'N' Shake.

Marla's words ring true?

The condom is the glass slipper of our age. You put one on when you meet a stranger, dance the night away, and then throw it away.... The condom not the stranger.

Once the drunk wears off

Ah, but a friend once the booze is gone.... that is what I am... eh well... spending another night alone I shall. Sleep is good for the James, no?

Times of Good

Good times tonight lost some money at poker, but it was good times. Saw some amateur boxing, good times.... tired now

do YOU belive what you're told?

Continually I am told two things, I'm nice and I'm cool... but I continually think what they want to say is hey you're a good biatch.... I do what I'm asked and help out others way before myself.... Maybe that's where my violence comes from... eh shrug it off and mellow out that's my goal... wish I didn't have to work for money... I want to find a place that I can live free and just help out with what is needed and work solely on my spirituality... and cuddling ;)

Yeppers

Andrew WK FUCK YEAH!

I really just want to Mosh Pit it or beat the crap out of someone!

The mood just randomly hit me.

That and when I say hey that's cute I mean like if you're ten... and I thought early today that I said that to Christina a lot... man...

Cousin Chesley is kick ass! Talked to her today.

Drinking Guiness for Dinner... MMMMmmmMMMM

So pumped....

YEAH!

Vanity Vs. Honesty

How to tell if you're vain or if you're honest:

Do people have to ask you before admit a talent?

Do you often tell more stories about what you have done versus what others have done?

Do you give advice that you were given before?

Answers for Vanity:

No, I always brag.

Yeah, I've done so much cool stuff.

No, I give advice on how to be me.

Honesty:

Yeah, I really don't know much.

Nah, there are a lot of cool stories of my aquaintances.

Yeah, especially that which I try to follow.

Ah the joys of the new job, I've decided that Nikki is the epitamy of You;re Fit but you Know It by the Streets.... doubt I'll let her borrow my clothes and sleep in my bed again.

Vanity Vs. Honesty

How to tell if you're vain or if you're honest:

Do people have to ask you before admit a talent?

Do you often tell more stories about what you have done versus what others have done?

Do you give advice that you were given before?

Answers for Vanity:

No, I always brag.

Yeah, I've done so much cool stuff.

No, I give advice on how to be me.

Honesty:

Yeah, I really don't know much.

Nah, there are a lot of cool stories of my aquaintances.

Yeah, especially that which I try to follow.

Ah the joys of the new job, I've decided that Nikki is the epitamy of You;re Fit but you Know It by the Streets.... doubt I'll let her borrow my clothes and sleep in my bed again.

Word Choice

I am told that you can tell a lot about someones self esteem by how they respond to certain questions plus the length of time it takes them to respond tells you how often they think about themselves.

The Questions are:

1. How do you feel most of the time when you are alone?(one word)

2. How do you feel others see you?(less than five words)

3. How do you feel when around others?(one word)

My answers are:

1. Alone

2. Nice guy who speaks profusly

3. Content

What this says:

Low self esteem, enjoys the company of others, socially inept, but not as bad as I think for my quick response time means I am over critical of myself.

Donut Fest

Apparently the opposite of a sausage fest is a donut fest.... nice to know 8-) A fact I found out going to a Creation Station party in which there were chicks a dressed up and wrestling *fakely* but wasn't getting any play really and there was no beer only whiskeys and I had already started with beer.

I say

I say party you say bus
PARTY-(BUS)
PARTY-(BUS)
PARTY-(BUS)

Crazy ole Nick.
Gotta remember to give Melin a call about his "rock pants"

Two of the kids crashed out here last night and then no one was up for breakfast so eh well....

I wonder how long I should let Leah/Athena's friend stay in my bed before I send her out.... *shrug*

WONDER BOY WHAT IS THE SECRET OF YOUR POWER?

WON'T YOU TAKE ME FAR AWAY FROM THE MUCKY MUCK LAND?

HOORAY FOR TENACIOUS D

Liz

*big grin*
*points finger*
*shakes finger*
not that.
Just good times carrying over from the party bus. I should sleep more.... damn it's fun though... Apparently though I would be better in the sack than Magno(Magnum). So for that thanks random black haired, drunk, telling me about fashion and cleavage, girl. Props to J.P. man hehehehe all throughout the night he kept talking about my size 17 shoes, but more mad props to Ian for driving and letting me party. I have such awesome friends. I feel so blown, because of having only 4 hours of sleep in the past 3/4 days, I don't even know how to think anymore..... AWESOME TIMES!

Clean Slate

So although I randomly think about killing masses of people, people who have wronged me in the past, and just a random person, I have decided to work on my shrug. My let it go. My why do I care anymore. So regardless of what happens my new goal is to let it be. For that is what it should be. People wrong others all the time, but why should that affect me for so long. I am even going to attempt to forget all of the wrongs that have been done unto me. Growth is hard, so it shall be with this endeavour. Relaxation, meditation, and patience. These are my new goals. Not forgiveness persay, but a blind eye. At this point I can name everyone who has ever wronged me and exactly what they have done, but it is not something to be proud of, in my attempt to relinquish my angers this shall be my first task: Forget what is not good, but not the strength that it has given me.

Truer Words may ne'er-a-been spoken:
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Words to live by

Can't buy me love, love
Can't buy me love
I'll buy you a diamond ring if it makes you feel alright
I'll get you anything if it makes you feel alright
'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love
I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too
I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love
Can't buy me love, everybody tells me so
Can't buy me love, no no no, no
Say you don't need no diamond ring and I'll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of thing that money just can't buy
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love

I need a true day off

Well I have a little more room in my room... but I gave a dresser to Leah and so now I need to rearrange all of my stuff instead of this pile here on the floor. Eh well sometime soon I think I will get to it....

A-Team Van

Driving around today twice I saw the goddamn A-Team van, FUCKING KICK ASS!

oh yeah,
Your Boyfriend Hates Me!

-that goes out to all of you-

Unless your boyfriend is one of my bro's in which case

Your Boyfriend Fears Me!

S-Bowl

Went to watch the super bowl over at Nick's house that was fun, but Athena had earlier stated she wanted to sleep so I let her sleep, and later she was mad, because she slept.... *shrug* eh well. Interesting the experience was though, you know watching people who care about sports, but food was superb, and there was a keg, so hey I can't complain about the reasons for getting together. Well now I have to work so Salut!

Got stuff to do!

Well I got invited to a Super Bowl party over at Nick's, awesome, hung out with guys in my new Union, awesome, had some drinks, good times, and then today did all kinds of cleaning/laundry duties and helped out Deanna. Wicked Crispy Awesomeness!

More out than in

Freaking me out my urine is! I am pissing out way more than I intake, and that's just weird, but the good news is my mucus is clear again without any sign of blood. Now if I could just get rid of this cough. I been told I might have the walking pnuemonia or the bronchitis, I say I probably just have the boogie woogie flu!

New Roommate

So Athena's friend Leah moved in yesterday. Good times. Work today is odd, my trainer is sick so we are doing very little, but I still get to get off early to get up to St. Joe. So now two girls here, that I wouldn't have had any problems with dating, but now are off limits. Cursed luck.

Oldness

My body tries to get me to sleep at random times, cursed old body. It wants me to wake up at 6, but is ready for sleep by 9, I just don't get it. Probably that malnutrition thing again. Oh well classes are easy and I have to go to the office today. I an was here for a bit, and Athena's friend Leah might move in too. Good Times, except now that will be two fine chica roommates, that I must keep roommates. *shakes fist* Oh well, money I guess.

just rollin'

We cruised around in a bus to go over defensive driving today, funny as those are all things I do in my car as well as the bus. Good times though!

He wants to type

Azrael always tries to type when I'm at the computer, but when he does it doesn't make any sense. Much like many others. I, in fact, tell all they shouldn't read, and to be truthful I don't read anyone else's. For the simple fact that I don't care. *if you're dumb enough to have read this for awhile you know that is a reaccuring theme* That is why I turned off comments, because people assume I am being subtle when I say things that are straightforward, such as don't reply or you don't want to know or NO or I don't like that or I hate that, but the truth being those are straightforward. When I'm subtle it's like hey that looks cool *hint to buy/do something* or man I hate it when so and so does that *hint for whomever I'm with not to do that* or I'm tired *subtle way of saying no booty just want cuddling sleep*. I am not that complicated, just contradictory. I hate things, but I do them for others. I think we should all be at peace, but I occassionally want to get into fights. Just simple contradictions like those and I know someone is lying, but I want to give them the chance to tell me. Work I hope will be easy today.