Too Noisy

Well I tried to go to sleep for about 1/2 hour, but her breathing is way too noisy for the not-too-tired me. Then people started getting ready to leave for work and school, starting the engines and such, so I just gave up. Plus A. thought it was a bad idea, and B. I think she didn't have on a shirt, didn't check. I think I've figured it out though, indifference, that's what it is. I am so tired of her asking me if I hate her, when um OBVIOUSLY NOT! So indifference, I know I can't Love her love her(hehehe random funny). I can love her like a someone special, well to quote myself more than friend, not quite a lover. I have been having mini-throw-up all night, which means my father's acid reflux has hit me. *shakes fist* I am getting too old. Well now that the latest round of almost vomit has come and gone; back to the epiphany of sorts. So I know that I lust for her, but because there is no possible way for her to earn back my trust we can never have a romantic relationship again. Oddly enough though all night I have been reminded of a song... Self Esteem by The Offspring, and wonder if that's what is going to happen, sort of.... not the me waiting for her to go out and such, but the her getting drunk and wanting to well it's the song you know it or you don't... hehe. I need to hurry up on that CDL so that I can move on to a different job. It would be very nice to make that 600 a week and all. Ah how that would set my mind at ease and make getting a house so much easier. Oh well off to pay some bills and drop back into reality.